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FIC: Adaptability in the Workplace is Key

Title: Adaptability in the Workplace is Key
Pairing: Cordelia/Giles
Rating / Words: PG / 370 words
Setting: Early Ats S2
Warnings/Kinks: mpreg, genderswap, idiosyncratic use of first-person plural

A/N: This is dedicated to [personal profile] deird1 first of all, who muttered something weeks ago about "Cordelia/Giles mpreg season 5 genderswap PG-rated drabble darkfics." This is neither darkfic (because I'm apparently incapable of writing that) nor composed of drabbles, but I think I hit all the others. Also dedicated to angearia, for whom I've always wanted to write genderswap but never managed to.

Thanks to ghostyouknow27 for the beta and bobthemole for the handholding. :)

~~~~~

Tuesday plan: Fake teensy headache. Send Angel to maybe-mission in a sewer far far away. Get Giles in at the Hyperion to look over Shanshu prophecy. Treat ourself to fabulous latté. Take evening off.

Result: Geekazoid ex-rogue demon hunter and decrepit ex-librarian glare politely, knock over latté. Angel is stinky and grumpy. Demon follows us home, slobbers all over us, dies goopy.

Wednesday morning plan: Drycleaning. Buy fresh new fabulous latté. Make testosteronal Englishmen behave.

Result: Wake up man. We’re talking actual man-parts, here.

Wednesday morning, plan B: Forget dry-cleaning; go straight to work. In panic, clutch hand of first ex-Watcher we see.

Result: Exchange body fluids, by which we mean sweat. We’re sweating. Gross. Also, no progress made on the removal of MAN-PARTS.

Thursday plan: Who the hell cares? Giles woke up female this morning. We’re still male. Our lives all suck.

(Giles is pretty good at sucking, it turns out. Who knew?)

Friday plan: Be a woman again.

Result: Woke up female this morning oh thank god OH MY GOD WE SLEPT WITH GILES. What the hell just happened? Oh god oh god.

(Giles is a guy again. Yay?)

Friday plan, part II: Research. We are so not even complaining about the research. Or any other reason not to look at Giles. Ever again. We slept with woman Giles. Does that make us lesbian?

Result: Demon identified: Drynox demon, reproduces via third parties (= us!), induces spontaneous temporary sexual transformation and extreme pheromone production (= SEX WITH GILES).

Friday afternoon plan: Oh my god we are not going through the demon pregnancy thing again. Morning-after pill, STAT.

Result: Not pregnant with demon spawn? Probably?

Two Fridays later plan: Pregnancy test. Oh god.

Result: Almost definitely not pregnant. Pretty sure. Do these sticks actually work for demon spawn?

--

Six more Fridays later plan: Buy fancy-schmancy archival-quality pens for geekazoid English coworker. Treat ourself to fabulous mocha. Do nails.

Result: Giles calls. Oh. Huh. Turns out we were totally never in danger of carrying the demon spawn.

New plan: Research research research. Ask the Host about specialty demon surgeons. All those demons know each other, right? And hey, how come Hallmark doesn’t carry cards that say “Condolences on your demon pregnancy”?

[END]

Original entry posted at Dreamwidth. Feel free to reply here or there. (comment count unavailable DW replies)

Comments

( 16 comments — Leave a comment )
bobthemole
Oct. 25th, 2011 01:54 am (UTC)
HAHAHAHAHA!

That's just brilliant. And trust Cordy to look for condolence cards rather than worry about paying child support :D
snickfic
Oct. 25th, 2011 02:23 am (UTC)
Pretty sure that the plan is for there to be no child to pay for. *g*

Yay. :)
ghostyouknow27
Oct. 25th, 2011 02:10 am (UTC)
YES. I enjoyed this. Especially when I imagined Wes and Giles being very politely hostile, until one or both spilled poor Cordy's latte.

Also, because I didn't mention this before, I also kinda like the implication re:Giles. And the question mark after "Yay" when he turns back!

Though, I am very concerned about the dangling plot thread that is Cordelia's drycleaning. **wibbles**

;)
snickfic
Oct. 25th, 2011 02:25 am (UTC)
Also, because I didn't mention this before, I also kinda like the implication re:Giles.

Yanno, that line was one of those lines I had no intention of writing but which followed the previous line so beautifully that I couldn't unwrite it. So there it is.

OTOH, I feel that there is a high degree of ambiguity in that question mark. Read as you will. *g*

"But who will think of the drycleaning?!"

Thanks again. I'm tickled you liked the final product.
ghostyouknow27
Oct. 25th, 2011 02:47 am (UTC)
Oh, I meant the sucking line implication re:Giles. Not that I actually said that. **needs sleep**

Hee. I think Cordy is probably unimpressed with Giles in general. Whether he makes a better ~lady is certainly left ambiguous. :D
snickfic
Oct. 25th, 2011 02:50 am (UTC)
Yes. I figured that was the line you meant. But now I'm curious as to which line you thought I thought you meant...
gilescandy
Oct. 25th, 2011 06:00 am (UTC)
I loved this. It was brilliant how you told a whole story with just little snips and glimpses. You made me lol more than once.
snickfic
Oct. 25th, 2011 09:46 pm (UTC)
Hurrah! Lulz were definitely the aim here. I had an idea of expanding the idea into a real fic with, like, complete sentences, but somehow this seemed to work better. I'm glad you enjoyed. :)
comlodge
Oct. 25th, 2011 10:24 am (UTC)
Totally Cordy. Totally funny.
snickfic
Oct. 25th, 2011 09:47 pm (UTC)
Hurrah! I haven't written Cordy very much; I'm thrilled to hear she's in true form here. Glad you enjoyed. :)
shapinglight
Oct. 25th, 2011 11:25 am (UTC)
Hee! That was funny, though poor Giles. However will he explain that one to the kiddies?
snickfic
Oct. 25th, 2011 09:49 pm (UTC)
Poor Giles indeed. In my head, there's a scene after the end of the fic where Cordelia 'comforts' him by relating her own demon pregnancy experiences, which he might or might not find actually comforting, depending on how miserable he is at the time.

Glad you enjoyed. :)
kwritten
Oct. 25th, 2011 08:18 pm (UTC)
Delightful. So many digital huggles.
snickfic
Oct. 25th, 2011 09:49 pm (UTC)
Yay! That's lovely to hear. I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)
brutti_ma_buoni
Oct. 25th, 2011 08:43 pm (UTC)
Loved this!

Give you special extra bonus points for the morning after pill. Because Cordelia absolutely does not need anoter demon spawn incident.

Poor Giles. His side of this must be boggling.
snickfic
Oct. 25th, 2011 09:53 pm (UTC)
Because Cordelia absolutely does not need anoter demon spawn incident.

Yes yes. Despite the total crack of the subject matter (and the treatment), this fic actually had one or two pointed points in it. Like Cordelia's uterine misfortunes.

Poor Giles indeed. Cordelia, never strong on empathy, doesn't really convey his feelings, but he really must have spent a large portion of the fic being miserable.
( 16 comments — Leave a comment )

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