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The Crackfic(and-art)ithon Rides Again!

Dru who me, mood who me
Buffyverse Crackficathon commentfic meme


For the second year, the Crackficathon is here to bring more silliness to the Buffyverse. Fanlore defines crack as "fiction with a fundamentally ludicrous premise, or otherwise including a plethora of unbelievable, incredible, or just plain silly elements - that is, implying the author/artist must have been on drugs to produce something so insane."

So what cracky thing have you been pining for? What about some werecreatures, or maybe that shiny new alpha/beta/omega trope, which was barely a twinkle in fandom's eye last year? Wingfic? Tentacles? The cowgirl!Buffy AU?

THINGS TO KNOW:
* Prompt fills can be one sentence, three sentences, a drabble, a ficlet, or any other length you feel moved to write. Fills can also be art! Usually there's tons of visual appeal in this prompts.

* If your fill is too long for one comment, you're welcome to post it to your own journal and just post a link here.

* Prompts can be filled multiple times by different people.

* Crack often tends towards the fluffy, light-hearted side of things, but it totally doesn't have to. Angst that puppy! Giggles and grief are both welcome here.

* I've turned comment notifications off on this entry, so if you have questions, please reply to the question thread below.

PROMPTING:
* Prompt format: [characters / ship] - [type of crack requested] - [OPTIONAL - additional prompt (word, phrase, song lyric, etc)]

FILLS:
* In the subject line of the comment of your fill, please put FILLED, and include [title, characters, type of crack, rating]. This makes it easier for me to make the masterlist. :)

MASTERLIST
* Fish Friday (PG), by griphynne916 - Xander/Cordy - Xander really does turn into a fish monster.

* Stays in Vegas. And Also in Pylea. (PG-13) by brutti_ma_buoni - Xander/Lorne - Vegas Crossover (in which two characters in different fandoms wake up married in Vegas)

* Hitting Things And A Whole Lotta Jack D (Among Other Things) (PG-13), by beer_good_foamy - Giles/Faith - it takes a while for that band candy to wear off.

* Spike and Buffy bodyswap, by athenniel

* Buffy, Willow and Gabby Douglas, Olympic crack, G, by eilowyn

* Entanglement, by brutti_ma_buoni - ensemble, G - alpha/beta/omega, in which Xander is a beta and there is knitting

* Disneyland Law, by beer_good_foamy - Prince John, W&H - Angel/Disney's Robin Hood crossover

* It Must Be Bunnies, by jacyevans - Anya, Buffy - This time, it was bunnies.

* If Wishes Were Kittens, by athenniel - S6 ensemble - All but one of the Scoobies turn into something fluffy, scaly, or otherwise meant to be a pet.

* Unknotted (PG-13), by brutti_ma_buoni - Willow/Oz, alpha/beta/omega stuff

* Flying, Not Falling, by - Buffy, ensemble - Buffy is resurrected with wings



SO WHAT COUNTS AS 'CRACK' ANYWAY?
Below is a quick-and-dirty list (partially culled from the list of fic cliches over at [community profile] fanbingo) to help get you thinking in the right direction. Really, though, if you think something is cracky? We probably ain't going to disagree with you. Go wild!

A LIST TO GET YOU STARTED
Genderswap Bodyswap / Bodyshare Age Regression Fusion with Another Fandom Cracky Crossovers Crack Pairings
Physical / Animal Transformation Time Loops Time Travel Mpreg Wingfic Mary Sue / Marty Stu
Author Self-Insertion Tentacles Sex Pollen / Aliens Made Us Do It / etc Truth Serum / Spells Androids and Robots Slavefic
Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics Historical AU Sci-fi / Space AU Animal AU Doppelgangers / Clones



BANNERS AND PROMOTION
Banner made last year by the fabulous blueteainfusion. Thanks so much, hon!

To use it, copy the code from the box below and paste it into your post.

Comments

( 159 comments — Leave a comment )
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snickfic
Aug. 2nd, 2012 11:04 pm (UTC)
Questions, comments, complaints...
If you have 'em, please leave them here! Especially please let me know if I've misspelled, misspoken, or left something out. :)

Edited at 2012-08-02 11:05 pm (UTC)
gryfndor_godess
Aug. 3rd, 2012 02:33 am (UTC)
Re: Questions, comments, complaints...
Is it okay if more than one person fills a prompt? There's one I'm interested in, but I don't think I'll be able to get to it until the weekend at earliest, so just asking in case someone fills it first. Thanks!
Re: Questions, comments, complaints... - snickfic - Aug. 3rd, 2012 04:17 am (UTC) - Expand
snickfic
Aug. 2nd, 2012 11:11 pm (UTC)
Scoobies, animal transformation. All but one of the Scoobies turn into something fluffy, scaly, or otherwise meant to be a pet (though some might differ on that last point).
athenniel
Aug. 8th, 2012 10:23 pm (UTC)
FILLED: If Wishes Were Kittens
snickfic
Aug. 2nd, 2012 11:17 pm (UTC)
Ensemble, OC's? A lot of women's Olympic records got broken in the next few Games after the Chosen spell. (Or really anything Buffyverse + Olympics would be cool!)
rranne
Aug. 3rd, 2012 01:08 am (UTC)
OH! Cool, Potential Athletes! I second this!
snickfic
Aug. 2nd, 2012 11:20 pm (UTC)
Willow/Oz alpha/beta/omega. Once Oz got bitten by that werewolf, a lot more changed than just his nocturnal activities three nights a month. Can be Willow/omega!Oz or Willow/alpha!Oz or whatever you like.

Edited at 2012-08-02 11:33 pm (UTC)
laeria
Aug. 3rd, 2012 08:47 pm (UTC)
oh my god I want this.

there should also be knotting
(no subject) - snickfic - Aug. 3rd, 2012 08:55 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - laeria - Aug. 3rd, 2012 09:28 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - brutti_ma_buoni - Aug. 6th, 2012 09:22 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - snickfic - Aug. 6th, 2012 09:47 pm (UTC) - Expand
snickfic
Aug. 2nd, 2012 11:23 pm (UTC)
Dawn, animal transformation. Dragons are one of the oldest creatures in any dimension. And Dawn, as we know, is very, very old.

Edited at 2012-08-02 11:24 pm (UTC)
streussal
Aug. 3rd, 2012 08:08 pm (UTC)
I really like this idea for some reason. Go find your ancient roots, Dawn!
beer_good_foamy
Aug. 2nd, 2012 11:26 pm (UTC)
pre-soul!Spike "helps" Dawn with her homework. Turns out a 19th century education patched with occasional late night TV and 120 years of being evil isn't quite compatible with modern Californian lesson plans.
beer_good_foamy
Aug. 2nd, 2012 11:29 pm (UTC)
Alpha/Beta/Omega with knitting. Yes, knitting.
zanthinegirl
Aug. 3rd, 2012 02:52 am (UTC)
I'm going to be very very disappointed if someone doesn't write this one!
ghostyouknow27
Aug. 2nd, 2012 11:32 pm (UTC)
Dawn is the only one who seems to notice that Buffy's new boyfriend is a tentacle monster.

He might be evil; he might be a perfectly decent guy who happens to be a tentacle monster. Either way, it requires further investigation. (Bonus if the Scoobs love New Guy).
ladyofthelog
Aug. 3rd, 2012 05:02 pm (UTC)
ON IT LIKE BAD FASHION ON XANDER

Edited at 2012-08-03 05:02 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - ghostyouknow27 - Aug. 3rd, 2012 05:04 pm (UTC) - Expand
beer_good_foamy
Aug. 3rd, 2012 12:04 am (UTC)
The Scoobies watch The Avengers. "Who the hell writes this stuff?"
beer_good_foamy
Aug. 3rd, 2012 12:27 am (UTC)
Apparently there's something called a Vegas Crossover. Just saying.
snickfic
Aug. 3rd, 2012 03:34 pm (UTC)
I have never heard of this before, but now that I have, clearly it must happen.
3hours
Aug. 3rd, 2012 02:11 am (UTC)
Ensemble - Someone told her that her spells always go wrong, so Willow sets out to prove herself by creating a dozen or so different potions with harmless effects (eg turns your skin purple for five minutes). She brings them to Buffy's Older and Far Away birthday party as a fun partygame. Of course hardly any of the potions do what they're intended to...

Bonus points if Spuffy is somehow unintentionally outed due to potion.
anviloverheaven
Aug. 3rd, 2012 02:30 am (UTC)
BtVS/Scrubs Crossover - My Kid Sister- Dawn Dorian visits Sacred Heart Hospital...
3hours
Aug. 3rd, 2012 02:58 am (UTC)
Buffy & Spike bodyswap! Doesn't matter what does it - spell, demon goo, aliens, unexplained - I just want to read about all the crazy and/or naughty things that Spike would do to Buffy's body and poor Buffy trying to stop him (or maybe she's equally distracted) :D
athenniel
Aug. 5th, 2012 10:34 am (UTC)
Spike and Buffy Season 4

Spike glared at Buffy. "Look what you did to my hair! It's crispy."

"I forgot about that whole sunlight alergy thing there for a minute." She rolled her eyes. "And it's not like it makes any difference. It's ALL crispy. How much bleach do you use on this stuff?"

"Oh look who's talking. I couldn't help but notice whilst I was in the loo that the curtains don't exactly match the carpet."

"Hey that's MY body. There will be no noticing or touching or". She noticed the evil grin spreading across Spike's face. "Oh my God! What have you been doing?"

"Just seeing how the other half lives pet." He lit a cigarette and took a deep drag, then started coughing.

"Not with MY lungs mister" Buffy said. She tried to knock the cigarette out of his hand then grabbed her head yelling "Ow! Ow!".

Spike smirked at her. "So how do like the chip?"

Giles cleared his throat and held up a musty old book. "Is this the demon you were fighting?"

Buffy nodded.

"Looks like." Spike added.

"And you came in contact with it's ah...bodily fluids?"

"We got splashed with some nasty green goo" Buffy said.

Giles nodded. "Fortunately there is a simple ritual that will reverse the effect. Let me gather the ingredients."

A few minutes later there was a flash of purple smoke. Buffy took a deep breath and touched her face and hair. "That's better" she said. "I never thought I'd miss breathing."

Spike grinned at her. "Yeah it's good to be home. Oh and next time you run into Willow and her bird you might want to thank them for last night."

Edited at 2012-08-05 10:35 am (UTC)
Re: Spike and Buffy Season 4 - 3hours - Aug. 5th, 2012 01:04 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: Spike and Buffy Season 4 - athenniel - Aug. 5th, 2012 06:50 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: Spike and Buffy Season 4 - thepuddinhead - Aug. 6th, 2012 12:47 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: Spike and Buffy Season 4 - athenniel - Aug. 7th, 2012 12:45 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: Spike and Buffy Season 4 - beer_good_foamy - Aug. 6th, 2012 11:17 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: Spike and Buffy Season 4 - athenniel - Aug. 7th, 2012 12:46 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: Spike and Buffy Season 4 - rebcake - Aug. 7th, 2012 01:02 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: Spike and Buffy Season 4 - athenniel - Aug. 7th, 2012 09:03 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: Spike and Buffy Season 4 - moscow_watcher - Aug. 7th, 2012 10:14 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: Spike and Buffy Season 4 - athenniel - Aug. 7th, 2012 09:04 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: Spike and Buffy Season 4 - gillo - Aug. 7th, 2012 11:31 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: Spike and Buffy Season 4 - athenniel - Aug. 7th, 2012 09:07 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: Spike and Buffy Season 4 - slaymesoftly - Aug. 7th, 2012 01:00 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: Spike and Buffy Season 4 - athenniel - Aug. 7th, 2012 09:07 pm (UTC) - Expand
3hours
Aug. 3rd, 2012 03:09 am (UTC)
Buffy didn't die fully in The Gift, her mind was temporarily transplanted into another characters head (so they share a body) by the PTB to prevent her from going to Heaven. Now she's stuck there until Willow can come up with a spell to awaken the body and put her mind back into it again.

You choose where her mind goes!
3hours
Aug. 3rd, 2012 03:18 am (UTC)
S6 Xander, after watching Spike and Anya get it on, timetravels back to early S2 with Willow's help in an attempt to convince the then-Scoobies to kill both Angel and Spike before all the bad stuff happens.
3hours
Aug. 3rd, 2012 03:26 am (UTC)
AtS S5 Angel & Spike have to travel back in time instead of going to Italy for an all important mission. Specifically, they have to go to back to the school library in S2 during Angelus' terror reign in order to obtain some kind of plotty mcplot objective. They are faced with the Scoobies and have to try and explain that honestly, they're the good guys!
ghostyouknow27
Aug. 3rd, 2012 03:48 am (UTC)
To trip up Buffy, the Geek Trio somehow imports the worldbuilding from another universe ... Twilight.

Now, Buffy's stakes are useless, Sunnydale is in total chaos, and Spike won't. stop. sparkling.

(I know Twilight was published in 2005, but they are using magic, and we can just pretend it's a parallel universe or something).

Edited at 2012-08-03 03:51 am (UTC)
snowpuppies
Aug. 4th, 2012 12:39 am (UTC)
and Spike won't. stop. sparkling.

BWAH! What a mental image!!
ghostyouknow27
Aug. 3rd, 2012 03:54 am (UTC)
Cousin Jordy turns Oz into a werehippo. Were-iceage-ground-sloth also acceptable.
pocochina
Aug. 3rd, 2012 04:10 am (UTC)
There was that one time when it really was fucking bunnies.
jacyevans
Aug. 6th, 2012 12:12 am (UTC)
FILLED: It Must Be Bunnies, Anya and Buffy, PG-13
(omg CRAAAACK)


"I told you," Anya starts, cutting off her rant with a shriek. She flings her arm out, catching one of the jumping bunnies with the knife in her hand. It falls to the floor with a sickening splat.

Yes, bunnies. A flock - no, an army. A really big amount of creepy, demon bunnies, okay? With bright red eyes, and big, sharp teeth.

She told them it was bunnies from the very beginning - what else could tear people to shreds and leave nothing but pools of blood and fluffy, white fur behind?

They'd spilt up into pairs - Xander and Giles, Willow and Dawn, Buffy and Anya (much to Buffy's chagrin) each of them taking one of the three houses where the attacks originally occurred, just in case the culprit returned to the scene of the crime.

And return they did. Every last floppy-eared, fluffy-tailed one of them.

"If you say I told you so again," Buffy grunts, flinging one off of her shoulder and into the wall, taking a chunk of skin with it, "I'll leave you alone here with them."

Anya lets out a screech, kicking one of the bunnies away with her foot.

In the end, there are thirty dead rabbits, dropped (by Buffy) and kicked (by Anya) into a pile at the center of the room. The two of them are bitten, bruised and spattered in blood but otherwise, no worse for wear.

"I'm never going to look at Easter the same way again," Buffy moans, and Anya bites her lip.

"Told you so," she blurts out. She ignores Buffy's glare with a smirk.

Buffy rolls her eyes and flicks a match at the pile. Anya watches the fire for a moment, but those flat, red eyes are all looking at her, watching, waiting to strike...

She squeaks and sprints for the door.



Edited at 2012-08-06 12:13 am (UTC)
anviloverheaven
Aug. 3rd, 2012 04:32 am (UTC)
An author self-insertion goes horribly, horribly wrong.
pocochina
Aug. 3rd, 2012 05:11 am (UTC)
Andrew and Illyria bodyswap
samsom
Aug. 3rd, 2012 05:23 am (UTC)
Xander really did turn into a fish monster, and he and Cordelia try to make a go of things. Then Mrs. Chase serves fishsticks for dinner, and things get awkward. S2 AU, obviously.
griphynne916
Aug. 3rd, 2012 06:00 pm (UTC)
FILLED - Fish Friday (Xander/Cordelia, Fluff, PG)
“Xander, it’s so nice to finally meet you!”
“Uh, yeah, you too Mrs. Chase.”
“Cordelia has told me so many nice things…” her voice petered off as she noticed the water puddling on the floor. Xander looked down and sighed. Not the best way to impress your girlfriend’s mom, dripping saltwater all over her expensive oriental rug. Mrs. Chase shook her head and bravely picked up where she had left off.
“… nice things about you. Please come in, dinner will be ready in a moment.” Xander squelched in as nonchalantly as he could, looking around awkwardly for a place to sit. He was saved when Cordelia grabbed his fin and tugged him over to the sofa. Which Xander now noticed was covered in what appeared to be a plastic shower curtain. He wondered if fish could blush. Mrs. Chase cleared her throat and left the room mumbling something about checking in with the cook.
Xander and Cordelia sat listening to the patter of the water as it ran off of Xander’s scales. Willow had rigged up a watering system to ensure that he didn’t dry out, as a rule though, he tried to spend as much time outdoors as possible since drainage was an issue. He was relieved when Mrs. Chase returned and said they would be dining al fresco.
“I… I didn’t know what… people… like you… ate,” stuttered Mrs. Chase, “and… it’s Lent.. so I hope this is…” Xander glanced down at his plate. Arranged artfully against a bed of lettuce were six orange rectangles. He sighed. “Yes, Mrs. Chase. Fishsticks are fine.”
brutti_ma_buoni
Aug. 3rd, 2012 03:16 pm (UTC)
Suddenly, a Buffyverse vehicle can speak. Yes, just like in Knight Rider. Wackiness ensues. (Special bonus love for Spike's car or Giles's midlife crisis vehicle.
3hours
Aug. 3rd, 2012 05:35 pm (UTC)
Spike + DeSoto = OTP
brutti_ma_buoni
Aug. 3rd, 2012 03:17 pm (UTC)
Buffy is sent back in time. Turns out there are no pink princess dresses there.
penny_lane_42
Aug. 3rd, 2012 04:09 pm (UTC)
Puppet!Angel meets Angelus. And wins. I don't care how you do this.
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