?

Log in

Previous Entry | Next Entry

Fanpoem: you make it with your hands

Title: you make it with your hands
S6 Spike/Buffy fanpoetry (free verse), suicide ideation, rated PG-13 for thematic elements

A/N: For upupa_epops' Multi-Fandom Adult Theme Comment Ficathon for plural_entity's prompt of Buffy Summers and an excerpt from Sylvia Plath's "Lady Lazarus." Because obviously the thing to do in response is to invite comparisons between my poetry vs. Sylvia Plath's.

There's a part here that I like, and I have zero perspective on the rest of it. Am posting before I lose the nerve. Dedicated a little bit to quinara, for whom I keep wanting to write fanpoetry.

~~~~~

eyes flutter close with
reckless ease breath stops
fraudulent fingers still
the heat of you cools from him

you go with so much drama
always
heroic sacrifice, world-saveage
hard to top
over the top
baroque
your wants are simpler now

you like rope
all thick and strong
heavy, bristly ‘round your neck
one wrong step
oops

water’s classic
the weight of oceans gripping you
sounds peaceful - that must be what they mean
you’ve tried it twice
never took

fangs are nice
let the vamp win this one
voilá: tragic accident (slightly bloody)
but Spike would save you
damn him

promised you his world
he lied
he’s a corpse, dead weight
but you’re still living

Original entry posted at Dreamwidth. Feel free to reply here or there. (comment count unavailable DW replies)

Comments

( 29 comments — Leave a comment )
gryfndor_godess
Aug. 7th, 2012 01:43 am (UTC)
Ouch, that's beautiful.

I like the "but Spike would save you/damn him" verse the best, and the last one is gut-wrenching and so fitting.
snickfic
Aug. 7th, 2012 05:52 am (UTC)
Yay, I am glad you like it! It's been a looong time since I wrote poetry, and I always feel like I'm flailing a bit when I write free verse. But gut-wrenching is definitely what I was going for. :D
penny_lane_42
Aug. 7th, 2012 02:02 am (UTC)
I like it! It also sort of reminds me of Dorothy Parker's "Resume."

It makes my heart hurt for our Buffy.
snickfic
Aug. 7th, 2012 05:57 am (UTC)
I thought of that poem while writing this! Although I wasn't going for quite that brand of black humor here. And yay, heart-hurting was definitely what I was aiming for. :)
plural_entity
Aug. 7th, 2012 02:11 am (UTC)
Omg I love you. ♥ This is beautiful poetry, just saying. But it's made all the more awesome by the fact that it's Spuffy poetry, and I have never in all my 10yrs of fanficcing been able to write fanfic poetry.

Besides the "but Spike would save you/damn him" --- which strikes my heart SO SO MUCH, my favorite lines have to be "you’ve tried it twice/never took". Because only hardcore fans remember that besides when the Master drowned her in s1, she got drowned by Balthazar's flunkies in s3's "Bad Girls" and she specifically says, I hate when they drown me.

GLORIOUS!! SO MANY FEELINGS!
snickfic
Aug. 7th, 2012 02:50 pm (UTC)
YAY. I am so glad you liked your random Spuffy poetry! I very, very rarely write fanpoetry, so I was really excited when your prompt inspired me. And, hurrah for Bad Girls! That's one of my favorite eps from S3 and a main source of all by Faith-and-Buffy feelings. :)

(Speaking of feelings, I love your icon! That seems like such an obvious shortening of the title of that ep, but I don't think I've ever seen it juxtaposed with a particular scene that way. OH SPUFFY.)
red_satin_doll
Sep. 12th, 2012 09:30 pm (UTC)
I consider myself duly chastened then (I'm new to BtVS - that's my story and I'm sticking to it) because I'd completely forgotten about that bit in BG. (BTW - does flatlining in Villains not count?)

Aside from the lines everyone else has praised (rightly so), I loved the second verse (stanza) and particularly this: "Your wants are simpler now".
snickfic
Sep. 21st, 2012 05:11 pm (UTC)
Butting in to say that I'm so glad you enjoyed the poem. I don't write a lot of it, so I'm always a bit nervous posting what little I do write. I'm glad it resonated with you. :)
red_satin_doll
Sep. 21st, 2012 05:22 pm (UTC)
It's been years since I attempted to write poetry myself, so I know how hard it is to pare something down to it's essence - which is what poetry does, IMO - and so I appreciate it all the more when it's well-written.
cindergal
Aug. 7th, 2012 04:51 am (UTC)
Well done! I liked this last bit in particular:

promised you his world
he lied
he’s a corpse, dead weight
but you’re still living
snickfic
Aug. 7th, 2012 03:55 pm (UTC)
Yay, thank you! I came close to titling the poem "Traitor," in keeping with that last stanza.
ever_neutral
Aug. 7th, 2012 07:34 am (UTC)
he’s a corpse, dead weight
but you’re still living


DAMN.

This has been a comment.
snickfic
Aug. 7th, 2012 03:55 pm (UTC)
I generally consider swearing a good sign. :D
kikimay
Aug. 7th, 2012 08:10 am (UTC)
Beautiful and very sad.
snickfic
Aug. 7th, 2012 03:55 pm (UTC)
Yay, thank you! I'm glad you liked it. :)
quinara
Aug. 7th, 2012 09:07 am (UTC)
FANPOETRY FOREVER!! :D

*ahem* This is really lovely - I like all the humour you've got in it and the poppy sort of rhythm. My favourite bit is:

hard to top
over the top
baroque


In my head I read 'baroque' with a short O, the same as 'top', so the semi-rhyme shift from -op, -op to -oque is very cool! But it also works with that US long O version of 'baroque', which you may well have had in mind... It's lovely and twisty!
snickfic
Aug. 7th, 2012 08:24 pm (UTC)
You picked out my favorite part! I am so pleased!

I didn't realize there was more than one way to pronounce 'baroque'; in my head I was pronouncing it with the US long O. Pronouncing it with a short O brings to mind the first name of my president, which wasn't what I was going for. :D

I am so glad you liked. :)
ladyofthelog
Aug. 7th, 2012 09:38 am (UTC)
Painful and beautiful. Lovely.
snickfic
Aug. 7th, 2012 08:24 pm (UTC)
Hurrah! That's pretty much exactly what I was aiming for. :)
slaymesoftly
Aug. 7th, 2012 04:50 pm (UTC)
Love this verse - so very Buffy
fangs are nice
let the vamp win this one
voilá: tragic accident (slightly bloody)
but Spike would save you
damn him
snickfic
Aug. 7th, 2012 08:25 pm (UTC)
Yay! I'm glad it sounds like her; I'm really more comfortable with more formal poetry, but they don't seem very Buffy to me. :)
smells_corrupt
Aug. 7th, 2012 08:14 pm (UTC)
Ohhh that hurts. GREAT job!
snickfic
Aug. 7th, 2012 08:25 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed. :)
rebcake
Aug. 10th, 2012 07:06 am (UTC)
you like rope
all thick and strong
heavy, bristly ‘round your neck


Huh. We didn't really see choking play between them. Handcuffs won't do the trick when you're dancing on that particular edge.

Nicely captured.
snickfic
Aug. 10th, 2012 04:53 pm (UTC)
Yay, thank you! Although, did we not ever seen any scarves or anything? I thought we saw a silk scarf, but quite possibly I'm confusing fic with canon. :D
velvetwhip
Aug. 15th, 2012 07:10 pm (UTC)
I think this is absolutely wonderful. It stands on its own as poetry, but it's still perfectly in character and stands beautifully as fanfiction. Nice balancing act there!


Gabrielle
snickfic
Aug. 16th, 2012 02:53 am (UTC)
Thank you so much! I'd have trouble imagining it standing separate from the canon, but I'm glad to know it comes across as as actual poetry. :)
tipsy_kitty
Mar. 14th, 2015 08:22 pm (UTC)
This is lovely!
snickfic
Mar. 14th, 2015 08:38 pm (UTC)
Yay, thank you! :)
( 29 comments — Leave a comment )

Latest Month

March 2017
S M T W T F S
   1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031 

Tags

Powered by LiveJournal.com