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Drabble: Up

Apparently, penny_lane_42, when I said I had a 'short piece' about Anya, what I really meant was that I had a drabble. Anyway, here 'tis.

I'm not quite sure how I feel about the characterization here; it's definitely not my last word on this facet of Anya's character.

Title stolen from Pixar. Icon not actually appropriate to subject matter.

Up
Anya, circa S4
PG-13 for adult concepts

The sex was very pleasant, but it grounded her, too. It tethered her, one human adrift and weightless among countless uncaring others. It was one of the ties that bound. Though she knew from eleven hundred demon years that sometimes love was stronger, she hadn’t a chance of seducing anyone to love her; she’d barely managed the actual sexual seduction.

But she had managed it, and now she belonged to Xander as much as intercourse partners ever did. Some days that felt like almost enough to prove her existence.

On the days it didn’t, she pestered Xander for more orgasms.

Comments

( 14 comments — Leave a comment )
angearia
Aug. 26th, 2009 02:47 am (UTC)
Oh, Anya. Always seeking connection. Hm. It makes me wonder what if Anya and Spike had leaned on each other all the way back in Season 4, more exclusively then to just complain about being judged by the Scoobies.
rebcake
Aug. 26th, 2009 03:46 am (UTC)
C'mon, you know you wanna write it!
angearia
Aug. 26th, 2009 03:53 am (UTC)
I resist you! (for now) *goes back to working on TYSK*

*chants* Buffy POV, Buffy POV, kicking ass, kicking ass, Buffy POV...
snickfic
Aug. 26th, 2009 08:02 pm (UTC)
Always seeking connection.

Yes. Poor dear. I would dearly love to see a fic of her having a deeper friendship with any of the Scoobies-n-friends.
rebcake
Aug. 26th, 2009 03:48 am (UTC)
now she belonged to Xander as much as intercourse partners ever did

And you aren't 100% sure of your characterization? Did you read that line, right there? Totally Awesome Anya.
snickfic
Aug. 26th, 2009 08:03 pm (UTC)
Hee. I was actually thinking more in terms of internal character motivations than voice. But thank you!
penny_lane_42
Aug. 26th, 2009 03:57 am (UTC)
I'm not quite sure how I feel about the characterization here; it's definitely not my last word on this facet of Anya's character. Yeah, I totally understand this. Anya's a complex character who, unfortunately, wasn't nearly as explored in canon as she should have been. So if you want to recant or expand or anything involving her characterization...that's cool!

As for the drabble itself, I think the characterization totally works. I would never have considered Anya as feeling lost among the shuffle of humanity, but it makes so much sense. After being virtually immortal and treating humans like insects, of course they're going to seem that way to her!

And yesyesyes to Anya using sexual connection as a substitute for the deeper connections she craves but never quite gets.

Oh, poor girl. She just breaks my heart.
snickfic
Aug. 26th, 2009 08:11 pm (UTC)
Anya's a complex character who, unfortunately, wasn't nearly as explored in canon as she should have been.

There's definitely lots of room for exploration, and she doesn't get nearly enough fannish love.

As for the drabble itself, I think the characterization totally works.

Hooray! I'm always a bit iffy with giving characters much more internal uncertainty than we see on screen, just because 'uncertain' is my default characteristic for characters and sometimes they're just as uncertain as I would be if I were them, yanno?

Actually, I got this whole line of thought from a throwaway line in the beginning of enigmatic_blue's S4 Spuffy fic The Truth Will Set You Free: "When Anya had asked Xander if they could leave, Spike had stated that she was just trying to lose herself in a man because she didn’t know what she really wanted now that she was human." It's practically the only significant mention of Anya in the entire fic, but it stuck with me.

Oh, poor girl. She just breaks my heart.

Considering how much in-your-face angst there already is in the Buffyverse, it's amazing how much more is lurking under the surface.

Edited at 2009-08-26 08:12 pm (UTC)
jen_nsync_landl
Oct. 31st, 2009 09:27 pm (UTC)
What an interesting way to add depth to all of Anya's talk of sex and orgasms. Hmm, I need to go think about this more.
snickfic
Oct. 31st, 2009 10:54 pm (UTC)
Hmm, I need to go think about this more.

I think that may be the best possible praise for a piece this long. :)
slaymesoftly
Feb. 27th, 2011 06:09 pm (UTC)
I hadn't seen this. Sadly, probably a good glimpse into Anya's mind and heart.
snickfic
Feb. 28th, 2011 06:08 am (UTC)
I think Anya's a character with a whole lot of angst hiding under the surface. She just breaks my heart sometimes.
kikimay
Apr. 21st, 2014 11:34 am (UTC)
I love Anya angst and I just love Anya seeking for connection. I think that there's something so deeply human and vulnerable about her trying to understand her relationship with Xander.
snickfic
Apr. 23rd, 2014 11:57 pm (UTC)
I just adore Anya. Sometimes she feels like the most human of them all. She and Spike, maybe - the two most human of demons.
( 14 comments — Leave a comment )

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