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FIC: She Saves the World a Lot

I was just ranting to gabrielleabelle about Shag or Die scenarios, and then I wrote one. Hey, it happens to the best of us, right?

Right?

Title: She Saves the World a Lot
Pairing: Spike/Buffy
Spoilers/Words: post-series - 270 words
Rating: Erm. R?

~~~~~

The glow of the late-afternoon Roman sun warmed Buffy’s kitchen, and Giles’ voice buzzed distantly in her ear. “The prophecy is quite clear,” he said. “It must be tonight, and it must be-”

“A Slayer and a vampire, making with the horizontal hokey-pokey. Heard you the first time. You realize that this is total patriarchal objectifying crap, right?” Hey, look, Willow was rubbing off on her. “Saving the world with my vagina?”

Over the crackling line, she heard Giles clear his throat. “Of course, it need not necessarily be you...”

“But hey, pretty convenient, right?” She allowed herself a grin. “Who knows, you might not have needed to call.”

Now she could practically hear him blush, and she smirked. Mortification of the Watcher? Still a Buffy Summers event in the Slayer Olympics. Besides, it served him right. She heaved a long-suffering sigh. “The sacrifices I make. Tell your Council money people I need a bonus for this.” On Giles’ sputter, she hung up.

She glanced at herself in the window glass, smoothed a stray wisp of hair and straightened her shirt. Then she slipped into the darkened living room, to Spike, stretched out on her sofa: the vampire in repose.

“Hello, lover,” she said as she slid onto him. One instant he was whipcord-taut beneath her, and then he melted, his angles meeting her curves in ways that were still too new – again – to be taken for granted.

“Not that I’m complaining...” he began, but she leaned in to nibble at his lip, which shut him up. It usually did, she was rediscovering.

“Shhh,” she breathed into his mouth. “We have to save the world now.”

Finis

Comments

( 46 comments — Leave a comment )
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deird1
Apr. 30th, 2010 12:50 am (UTC)
Yay!


(I can just picture Giles doing much glasses-polishing before, during, and after this conversation.)
snickfic
Apr. 30th, 2010 01:35 am (UTC)
Oh, yes. The glasses-polishing was implied. :)
penny_lane_42
Apr. 30th, 2010 12:56 am (UTC)
HAHAHA.

You win at life.
snickfic
Apr. 30th, 2010 01:42 am (UTC)
Hooray!

(I seem to be hung up on Shag or Die parodies. I still have that other one sitting on my hard drive, waiting for me to get inspired...)
(no subject) - penny_lane_42 - Apr. 30th, 2010 01:48 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - snickfic - Apr. 30th, 2010 10:20 pm (UTC) - Expand
slaymesoftly
Apr. 30th, 2010 01:14 am (UTC)
Oh, I love it! Such a much nice way to meet a prophecy and save the world! Good job.
snickfic
Apr. 30th, 2010 01:43 am (UTC)
I think they'll quite enjoy fulfilling this particular prophecy... *g*
eowyn_315
Apr. 30th, 2010 01:19 am (UTC)
Heh. Now that's the kind of prophecy they like. :)
snickfic
Apr. 30th, 2010 01:45 am (UTC)
Yep. Notice how all Buffy's complaining is about the principle of the thing... *g*
rebcake
Apr. 30th, 2010 04:05 am (UTC)
What, no stinky herbs or weird sand? World-saving just ain't what it used to be.

This was ultra satisfying for some reason:

Mortification of the Watcher? Still an event in the Slayer Olympics.

Tee!
snickfic
Apr. 30th, 2010 11:59 am (UTC)
What can I say? Some apocalypses are just more demanding than others.

And yeah, there are some valued skills a Slayer never loses. *g*
goldenusagi
Apr. 30th, 2010 05:06 am (UTC)
Prophecy FTW!
snickfic
Apr. 30th, 2010 12:00 pm (UTC)
Yep yep. :)
rahirah
Apr. 30th, 2010 05:15 am (UTC)
Hee!

Somewhere on my hard drive I have a Barbverse fragment about some demon trapping Buffy and Spike in a magical cage and proudly informing them that the only way out is to (DUN DUN DUN!) do the nasty with their mortal enemy, and they get into a big argument over whether on not they still qualify as mortal enemy enough to break the spell... *g*
snickfic
Apr. 30th, 2010 12:06 pm (UTC)
That's fabulous! Although it seems to me that the easiest way to resolve that question is to try it and find out... *g*
bobthemole
Apr. 30th, 2010 05:38 am (UTC)
I am putty against this onslaught of fluff.

I need a puddle-of-goo icon.
snickfic
Apr. 30th, 2010 12:08 pm (UTC)
Hee! Puddle of goo FTW!
shapinglight
Apr. 30th, 2010 09:04 am (UTC)
:loves self-aware Buffy:
snickfic
Apr. 30th, 2010 12:18 pm (UTC)
Yes. Most of the point of this fic is that even in as silly a situation as this one, she is still the Slayer and she is still In Charge. (The rest of the point was to play with the "Shagging one's mortal enemies leads to relationships" trope. *g*)
louise39
Apr. 30th, 2010 06:10 pm (UTC)
“The sacrifices I make".

tee hee...
snickfic
Apr. 30th, 2010 10:12 pm (UTC)
It's a tough job, but someone has to do it.
gabrielleabelle
Apr. 30th, 2010 10:44 pm (UTC)
lol! Win.
snickfic
Apr. 30th, 2010 10:48 pm (UTC)
Hee. It just occurred to me, as I was writing you that comment, that Shag or Die is always about forcing together two people that would Never Ever otherwise, and what a (narrative!) anti-climax it'd be if they were already, yanno, together. And it amused me.

Glad you enjoyed. :)
seapealsh
May. 1st, 2010 02:22 am (UTC)
This Shag or Die fic makes sense to me (more so than the others I've neglected to read because of the Pw/oP). And to have them already in a relationship....priceless.
snickfic
May. 1st, 2010 02:59 am (UTC)
Hee. Thank you. Yeah, what a let-down to have one's big porny fic premise show up after one's characters are already in a relationship.

Glad you enjoyed. ;)
(Anonymous)
May. 1st, 2010 04:54 am (UTC)
The Chosen One
http://basicinstructions.net/basic-instructions/2010/4/28/how-to-fulfill-the-prophecy.html

I saw this strip on the day I read this. Haha.

--Ariel
snickfic
May. 1st, 2010 11:43 am (UTC)
Re: The Chosen One
Bwah hah hah! That is excellent.

(You realize, right, that I'm still terribly amused about you reading my fanfiction for a show you've basically never watched? I am.)
Re: The Chosen One - (Anonymous) - May. 2nd, 2010 03:16 am (UTC) - Expand
kaitlyn_lehman
May. 1st, 2010 06:23 pm (UTC)
This brightened my day considerably! Like it's such a chore for her to save the world right now lol. I would save the world with him at every opportunity.
snickfic
May. 1st, 2010 11:39 pm (UTC)
Heh. Hence the title...

Glad to hear it was a day-brightener. Thanks for commenting!
treadingthedark
May. 1st, 2010 08:54 pm (UTC)
Hee! Fun!
snickfic
May. 1st, 2010 11:42 pm (UTC)
Glad you enjoyed. :)
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( 46 comments — Leave a comment )

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