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The BtVS/Ats Crackficathon!

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It seems to me we're due for some silliness in these our beloved BtVS/Ats fandoms. Crackfic to the rescue! Fanlore defines crack as "fiction with a fundamentally ludicrous premise, or otherwise including a plethora of unbelievable, incredible, or just plain silly elements - that is, implying the author/artist must have been on drugs to produce something so insane."

So what cracky thing have you been pining for? Wingfic? Genderswap? Or maybe it's time someone wrote the fic where it really is bunnies! Whatever your crack of choice, here's the chance to read and write glorious crack for the gloriously cracky shows we love.

* Prompt fills can be one sentence, three sentences, a drabble, a ficlet, or any other length you feel moved to write.

* If your fill is too long for one comment, you're welcome to post it to your own journal and just post a link here.

* Crack often tends towards the fluffy, light-hearted side of things, but it totally doesn't have to. You want to angst that bodyswap prompt 'til it can't angst no more? Be our guest! Giggles and grief are both welcome here.

* I've turned comment notifications off on this entry, so if you have questions, feel free to reply to the question thread below.

* ETA: I've been calling this the crackficathon because I personally am ficcishly as opposed to graphically inclined, but some of these prompts are just begging for art. So if you're feeling the urge to fill a prompt with art instead of fic? I'm pretty sure NO ONE WILL MIND.

* Prompt format: [characters] - [type of crack requested] - [OPTIONAL - additional prompt (word, phrase, song lyric, etc)]

* In the title line of your fic reply, indicate [title, characters, type of crack, rating]

The masterlist of completed works is here.

Below the cut is a quick-and-dirty list (partially culled from the list of fic cliches over at the DW fanbingo comm) to help get you thinking in the right direction. Really, though, if you think something is cracky? We probably ain't going to disagree with you. Go wild!




( 339 comments — Leave a comment )
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Aug. 3rd, 2011 07:28 pm (UTC)
Faith - wingfic - A vampire in Pylea turns all spiky; it turns out a Slayer in Pylea gets bonus wings. Which makes Faith some freaky kind of angel, right?
Aug. 3rd, 2011 08:01 pm (UTC)
Um, everything about this prompt WINS AT LIFE.
(no subject) - lettered - Aug. 3rd, 2011 08:23 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - snickfic - Aug. 3rd, 2011 11:59 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - lettered - Aug. 4th, 2011 05:50 am (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
(no subject) - snickfic - Aug. 5th, 2011 10:13 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - snickfic - Aug. 29th, 2011 05:47 pm (UTC) - Expand
Aug. 3rd, 2011 07:32 pm (UTC)
Spike - time travel - S7!Spike goes back to S2 for some Macguffin, and ends up asking, ah, himself for help.
Aug. 3rd, 2011 07:59 pm (UTC)
Isn't this one of your WIP? What is a Macguffin, please?
(no subject) - snickfic - Aug. 3rd, 2011 08:12 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - gryfndor_godess - Aug. 3rd, 2011 11:34 pm (UTC) - Expand
Aug. 3rd, 2011 07:39 pm (UTC)
Wesley - doppelganger - Wes is the only major character not to have an alter ego in canon. I want to know who he would have been. (Robots are optional, so is genderswap. Or tentacles.)

Edited at 2011-08-03 07:47 pm (UTC)
Aug. 4th, 2011 01:28 pm (UTC)
I love this prompt!!
Aug. 3rd, 2011 07:46 pm (UTC)
Giles or ensemble - inanimate object AU - the Vampyr tome is pretty important in the Watchers' world. You thought it was just a book?

Edited at 2011-08-03 07:46 pm (UTC)
Aug. 3rd, 2011 07:47 pm (UTC)
Blackadder crossover - Bob the Vampire Slayer
Aug. 3rd, 2011 07:52 pm (UTC)
If nobody else grabs this before Monday, I'm so writing it.
(no subject) - brutti_ma_buoni - Aug. 3rd, 2011 08:35 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - gryfndor_godess - Aug. 3rd, 2011 08:01 pm (UTC) - Expand
Aug. 3rd, 2011 07:51 pm (UTC)
With most of the tweedy old watchers dead and active Slayers all around the globe needing standardised recommendations, the new organisation decides to switch to Metric. Chaos ensues.
Aug. 3rd, 2011 08:31 pm (UTC)
European Tour (Giles&Faith), metric conversion, PG
"Threescore leagues boreal from-"

"Hold on. I gotta Google… So that's 4.828 kilometers times uh-"

"Sixty. Faith, if you're not even going to learn the basics, I'm going to have to find another leader for this mission."

"G, I'm learning. I'm trying to learn. But this metric shit's a bitch, and your spell-books aren't helping. Seems like it's just made to be confusing as fuck. I was multiplying scruples by 21 yesterday, and the solar battery on my calculator died. We had, like, fifty-seven times too many pixies dead by the end, and that's just wasteful. So shut up, and let me work it out."

289.68 kilometers north of Hamburg, they were in the outskirts of Aarhus…

"Is this mystical? It doesn't look mystical. Kinda… suburban." Faith looked doubtfully at the neat housing.

Giles tore at his hair. "But we turned widdershins at midnight. The moon was in the House of Atreus. We walked exactly seventy-two feet… Oh, bollocks."

Faith began to laugh, anticipating, even as he was thumbing through the book of historical measurements. "Some kind of measurement issue, G?"

"The prophecy was written in February 1870 which was… dammit. Five weeks before Wuerttemberg adopted the metric system. I was calculating based on the Baden foot of 30 cm, but this should be 286.49mm which multiplied by… Give me that map."

It took a lot of swearing before he came up with an answer. Then another long, long pause before he said it aloud. Faith contemplated the crappy interior of the hire car meantime, for enough time to appreciate the poorly-hidden cigarette burn on the sun visor and weave a complex, fairly pornographic, story of how exactly someone came to rest a lit cig at exactly that angle.

Giles spoke, eventually. "Faith. I'm sorry, Faith. We should be in Spain."

"Whatever." Faith shrugged. She liked driving.

Aug. 3rd, 2011 08:00 pm (UTC)
Willow and Wesley - Rosenberg and Wyndham-Pryce are dead (bonus points for Hamlet!Angel)
Aug. 3rd, 2011 08:05 pm (UTC)
Buffy/Spike (or William) - gladiator AU - He's the soppy poet. (Or, like, Catullus.) She has 37 wins. Maybe there's a lion.
Aug. 3rd, 2011 08:20 pm (UTC)
Marry me.
(no subject) - laeria - Aug. 3rd, 2011 09:22 pm (UTC) - Expand
Aug. 3rd, 2011 08:06 pm (UTC)
Oz - he's not a werewolf, he's part Veela.
Aug. 3rd, 2011 08:13 pm (UTC)
Anya(/Xander) - timeloop - she has to watch her wedding crumble over and over and over again and she's starting to think there's a lesson in this
Aug. 3rd, 2011 08:34 pm (UTC)
Ooh, I like this.
Aug. 3rd, 2011 08:41 pm (UTC)
Instead of giving Buffy a sister, the monks make the Key into a cat named Fluffy.
Aug. 3rd, 2011 09:54 pm (UTC)
The crime
Buffy decides that she’s had it.

Her life had been sucking lately, big way. Mom’s been sick. Riley’s acting strangely , nagging her to let him patrol with her. Spike’s lurking around her house, surely plotting some new elaborate plan to kill her (she’s starting to consider ending this once and for all). People are getting crazy around the town – like there wasn’t enough craziness in Sunnydale in the first place.

But this? These looks everyone is giving her, everytime they think she’s not paying attention. She swears they wonder if she’s losing it. That the crazy is getting to her.

So when she sees Willow and Xander suddenly stop their conversation midsentence as she enters the Magic Box, she drops the dumb act.

“What’s with you guys?”, she asks, losing her patience.

“Hey Buffy, how’s your day?”, Xander greets her with that big fake smile of his. Willow averts her eyes and fidgets, as if she’s forcing herself not to step away from her. She’s been doing this a lot these last few days.

“So, are you going to tell me what is going on?”, she already knows what it’s all about, but she feels this needs to do this. Again. “It’s that thing, right? I already explained…”

“Buffy, we understand, believe me”, Willow starts. “We don’t hold it against you.”

“Yeah, right. So why do I feel like I’m not welcome to your place anymore?”, the thought is saddening her. “Are you afraid of me?”

“No, God no, Buffy! I’m totally not!” Willow is frantic. “No! It’s just…”, she hesitates. “It’s Tara.”

“What about her?”, Buffy asks, confused. “Will, I know about you two, you don’t have to be all uncomfortable around me. Or…” the realization hits her. “Is she…”

“Can you blame her?” Xander cuts in. “Buffy, we’re you friends and we love you, but even you have to admit that was a little too much.”

She is so tired of all this. They just don’t get it, do they. They don’t have to fight monsters every night, out there in the dark. They may think they’ve got instincts, knowledge and experience – but she’s the Slayer. She knows evil when she sees one.

Hell, that was Willow’s ritual, for God’s sake.

So she throws her arms in frustration.

“For the last time, Fluffy was not my cat!”

Edited at 2011-08-03 10:01 pm (UTC)
Re: The crime - gabrielleabelle - Aug. 3rd, 2011 10:18 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: The crime - blueteainfusion - Aug. 3rd, 2011 10:38 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: The crime - eowyn_315 - Aug. 4th, 2011 12:20 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: The crime - anviloverheaven - Aug. 4th, 2011 10:33 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: The crime - ffutures - Aug. 4th, 2011 11:39 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: The crime - owenthurman - Aug. 6th, 2011 07:01 am (UTC) - Expand
Aug. 3rd, 2011 08:53 pm (UTC)
That vampire in Becoming doesn't come along and blow Buffy's cover, and thus she and Spike must actually form a rock band in order to keep Joyce from getting suspicious.
Aug. 3rd, 2011 08:54 pm (UTC)
Aug. 3rd, 2011 09:02 pm (UTC)
Crossover with The West Wing - Buffy shows up for Total Crackpot Day Big Block of Cheese Day to alert the President of the existence of vampires.
Aug. 3rd, 2011 09:18 pm (UTC)
This could go so many ways depending on who she meets... Toby, Sam, CJ, Donna... *overloads*
(no subject) - beer_good_foamy - Aug. 3rd, 2011 10:28 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - jagfanlj - Aug. 4th, 2011 07:34 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - beer_good_foamy - Aug. 4th, 2011 08:11 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - jagfanlj - Aug. 4th, 2011 08:59 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - penny_lane_42 - Aug. 4th, 2011 02:43 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - beer_good_foamy - Nov. 8th, 2011 10:07 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - snickfic - Nov. 8th, 2011 10:11 pm (UTC) - Expand
Aug. 3rd, 2011 09:26 pm (UTC)
Characters of your choice putting on the Sorting Hat.
Aug. 3rd, 2011 09:51 pm (UTC)
Badged and Badgered, Ensemble, Harry Potter crossover, PG
"Look, Slayer, there's no need to be so bloody smug. We all knew you'd be a Gryffindor. It's probably every Slayer's fate. Except for that evil one in the fourteenth century, she was classic Slytherin. Plus, Harris practically is Ron Weasley, so of course he had to be in with you among the brave hearts and thick heads. Though I'd have maybe expected him to… Well, enough of that."

As Spike talked himself to a standstill, Giles and Dawn adjusted their blue and bronze robes with some pride. Ravenclaw felt just about right to them, and once Willow got over her hero-complex, she'd see it was perfect for her too: from ancient languages to computer geeks, Ravenclaw welcomed them all.

"Well, I for one am not happy about this turn of events." Anya cut in on their self-congratulation. "I may be a little more financially motivated than some of you compulsive helper-types, but I'm not intrinsically evil. Though I admit that the green is a more flattering shade than your dumb red robes, so do I really care too much?"

Xander tried hopelessly to comfort the love of his life, now cosmically separated through the cruel chance of their Hogwarts-based mission plan and the complex spell which had turned them all into eleven year old wizards on Sorting day. "Ahn, don't… Slytherins don't have to be bad. Think of Snape. It's just a more… uh…"

"Selfish kind of house." Spike finished off, with a small snigger.

Which was a mistake.

Anya raised a brow. "I would think a bleached blond in a yellow robe with a badger on it might want to keep quiet about other people's Sorting issues, Spike."

Spike vamped out at her briefly, and returned to the rant he'd begun within seconds of being Sorted. "…Thousands of corpses… laid waste to Perm and Yekaterinburg before the bloody revolutionaries could… SS costume… torture…"

But the Sorting Hat knew all, and now they all knew it too. At heart, Spike was a family-loving, emergency-babysitting, puppy-rescuing, romantic-poem-writing Hufflepuff. And he now had the badger to prove it.

Aug. 3rd, 2011 09:28 pm (UTC)
Spike the adorable runaway urchin AU. - "The sun'll come out tomorrow, bugger it"
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