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The BtVS/Ats Crackficathon!

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It seems to me we're due for some silliness in these our beloved BtVS/Ats fandoms. Crackfic to the rescue! Fanlore defines crack as "fiction with a fundamentally ludicrous premise, or otherwise including a plethora of unbelievable, incredible, or just plain silly elements - that is, implying the author/artist must have been on drugs to produce something so insane."

So what cracky thing have you been pining for? Wingfic? Genderswap? Or maybe it's time someone wrote the fic where it really is bunnies! Whatever your crack of choice, here's the chance to read and write glorious crack for the gloriously cracky shows we love.

* Prompt fills can be one sentence, three sentences, a drabble, a ficlet, or any other length you feel moved to write.

* If your fill is too long for one comment, you're welcome to post it to your own journal and just post a link here.

* Crack often tends towards the fluffy, light-hearted side of things, but it totally doesn't have to. You want to angst that bodyswap prompt 'til it can't angst no more? Be our guest! Giggles and grief are both welcome here.

* I've turned comment notifications off on this entry, so if you have questions, feel free to reply to the question thread below.

* ETA: I've been calling this the crackficathon because I personally am ficcishly as opposed to graphically inclined, but some of these prompts are just begging for art. So if you're feeling the urge to fill a prompt with art instead of fic? I'm pretty sure NO ONE WILL MIND.

* Prompt format: [characters] - [type of crack requested] - [OPTIONAL - additional prompt (word, phrase, song lyric, etc)]

* In the title line of your fic reply, indicate [title, characters, type of crack, rating]

The masterlist of completed works is here.

Below the cut is a quick-and-dirty list (partially culled from the list of fic cliches over at the DW fanbingo comm) to help get you thinking in the right direction. Really, though, if you think something is cracky? We probably ain't going to disagree with you. Go wild!




( 339 comments — Leave a comment )
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Aug. 4th, 2011 11:45 am (UTC)
To present the apocalypse, one of the Scoobies must become the Cheese Man's replacement.
Aug. 6th, 2011 06:03 pm (UTC)
The Cheese Man Cometh, Scoobies and Cheese Man, rated G
At first, it’s just cheese. Buffy wakes up craving cheddar and shreds some to put on the eggs Joyce scrambled for her. Giles finds himself laying in a supply of gorgonzola and stilton. Willow doesn’t notice how often she’s been toasting pepper-jack tortillas until Tara, laughing, starts marking them on a calendar. Anya tells Xander not to ask her over anymore unless he’s prepared to serve her something other than grilled cheese.

Nobody thinks to mention the sudden dairy preference to anyone else. It doesn’t seem apocalyptic or supernatural or Scooby-worthy in any way.

Their mistake.


Buffy dreams of soft white havarti with crackers and wine. She dreams of Danish Blue stacked in wheels upon wheels, each laced all through with the bacteria that gives its color and its name.

She thinks she sees someone sometimes, a wraith, a shadow even in this world of shadows, but when she turns no one is there.

If these are Slayer dreams Buffy’s having, they’re like none she’s ever had before. They have the same clarity; it sets all her senses on edge like too much caffeine. Yet the urgency that thrums through her after every Slayer dream like a like a plucked guitar string, not in her chest or her stomach but her being - that’s missing. There’s need here, and sorrow, but it isn’t hers.

There’s nothing to be done here, she thinks as she swims to wakefulness through a sea of molten cheese. It’s not her fight.

By the time she’s fully woken, all she remembers is a plate of epically tasty enchiladas. Cheese, of course.


Something’s happening to the cheese world. Well, it’s a dream-cheese world, or a cheese dream-world, Willow isn’t sure which, but something’s happening to it. If the foundations of this world rest on bricks of parmesan? Those bricks have cracks.

There’s a man that wanders the streets of the world (paved in yellow cheese). He ghosts through it like a wraith, haunting the hallowed halls of camembert. He is old and bald and frail and feeble, his frayed business suit hangs on him like a tarpaulin on a tree, and wherever he looks, he squints.

“Are you looking for something?” she asks. “I mean, not like I can give you directions anyplace, ‘cause, not a native here, but...”

He reaches out and clutches her hands between his. As he squints up at her with rheumy eyes, she thinks, suddenly, that what he needs are glasses. “If the cheese falls where you can’t hear it,” he says, “do you make a sound?” His grip on her wrists tightens, desperate.

Willow wakes with a gasp, the stench of burning mozzarella still hanging in her nose.


Mounds of cottage cheese are piled in each of the elderly gentleman’s outstretched hands. Curds fall to the ground in wet plops. “Only the cheese can accompany you,” he says.

Honestly, Giles thinks. The most appalling people.

When he wakes up, he knows.

Continued here

Edited at 2011-08-06 06:03 pm (UTC)
Aug. 4th, 2011 05:20 pm (UTC)
Angel/Bones crossover. While recovering from amnesia, Booth starts remembering a life that shouldn't exist.
Aug. 4th, 2011 09:50 pm (UTC)
Hah ha! This would be excellent. Actually, the very first fic I ever actively went looking for in the Jossverse was Angel/Bones crossovers, just because the idea of Bones and Angel meeting each other amused me. :)
(no subject) - smells_corrupt - Aug. 4th, 2011 10:04 pm (UTC) - Expand
Aug. 4th, 2011 09:43 pm (UTC)
Ensemble, Post-Chosen, the gang go to Disneyland only to get hit with a spell which brings every ride/attraction/character they go to to life.

[Pirates! Mermaids! Talking animals! The cast of any Disney show that happens to be visiting the park turning into their character from that show!]
Aug. 5th, 2011 04:14 am (UTC)
Whenever my friends and I would go to Disneyland during college, we'd talk about how cool a movie this would be!
Aug. 4th, 2011 09:47 pm (UTC)
Fringe Crossover - Andrew works for Massive Dynamic.
Aug. 4th, 2011 10:05 pm (UTC)
Buffy/How I met your Mother crossover. Lilly Aldrin discovers that stripper!lilly isn't her only doppelganger.
Aug. 4th, 2011 10:05 pm (UTC)
BtVS Ensemble, set during the confrontation at the end of Empty Places. What if Spike and Andrew came back early?
Aug. 4th, 2011 11:30 pm (UTC)
Michelle Trachtenburg, James Marsters, and/or Eliza Dushku is/are transported into the Buffy'verse before their character appears. How do they react? What do they do? Do they try to change any of the storylines? How will they get home again? What happens when they do finally meet their alter ego?
Aug. 5th, 2011 01:57 am (UTC)
BtVS/Mary Poppins cross over.

Spike meets Bert.
Aug. 5th, 2011 03:04 am (UTC)
And ridiculous English accents collide! Oh heavens.
Aug. 5th, 2011 03:15 pm (UTC)
Nine Lives of Chloe King fusion where Buffy is the Uniter, Angel (or Spike) and Faith are also Mai (basically taking up the roles of Alek and Jasmine) while Willow and Xander are her human best friends.

Prompt: Dying sucks. Prophecy Girl. "I may be dead, but I’m still pretty…which is more than I can say about you."
Aug. 5th, 2011 05:04 pm (UTC)
TrueBlood Crossover - Hoyt and Jessica take a trip to LA to visit her cousin Harmony.Neither one wants to be "outed" as a vampire.
Aug. 6th, 2011 08:06 pm (UTC)
I know I'm late to the party, but I've got a prompt!

Any pairing or no pairing ...

Buffy is dating a tentacle monster, only she doesn't seem to notice. In fact, no one seems to notice. Except Dawn. Who is trying really, really hard not to connect those giggling, low-voiced conversations Buffy and Willow keep having with ______'s skeevy tentacles.

Maybe the tentacle monster's evil. Maybe he's ultimately a good guy. Maybe Dawn goes to a still-evil Spike for help, and he thinks the whole thing's a laugh, but is a little bit jealous because it's S5 (not that it has to be!). Maybe there's no Spike whatsoever. I just want Dawn objecting to Buffy's new boyfriend, the tentacle monster, and everyone ignoring her. Oh! And there should be research! And possibly spying! Awesome Dawn-ness all around.
Aug. 6th, 2011 09:31 pm (UTC)
Okay, this is fabulous. Clearly this needs to be written. And if no one else does then I might.

Edited at 2011-08-06 09:32 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - ghostyouknow27 - Aug. 7th, 2011 12:29 pm (UTC) - Expand
Aug. 7th, 2011 12:35 pm (UTC)
Any pairing or gen ...

Sweets actually *did* want Xander for his bride, and he whisked him off to Hell right before the big group sing. Now, Xander is in Hell Queen etiquette lessons, and the Scoobies are mounting a rescue mission to get him out of there before he does something stupid. Like eat the pomegranate-jelly donuts.

They have very little time.
Aug. 7th, 2011 12:55 pm (UTC)
(A still evil but in love with Buffy?) Spike finds himself stuck in a rom-com come to life, in which Buffy fulfills every cliché there is (she's a career girl without time for romance, except she spends very little time doing anything career-related; her best friend is a man-hating lesbian; she's klutzy; she gets a makeover in which she takes off her glasses; oh, and she's absolutely head-over-heels in love with him, even if it is in an overblown Grey's anatomy sort of way).

At first, Spike thinks this place might not be so bad for a holiday, since it's not like he'll ever get to have Buffy this way in real life. He *is* still evil, so he probably sleeps with her, and that's great, too (even if he can't figure out why she's bought L-shaped sheets). But as time goes on, he realizes that this Buffy lacks everything he loves about the real Buffy, and he grows increasingly unhappy and desperate to get out of there.
Aug. 8th, 2011 02:58 am (UTC)
I didn't realise how much I need to read this story until I saw your prompt.

(no subject) - laeria - Aug. 10th, 2011 10:54 am (UTC) - Expand
Aug. 7th, 2011 08:45 pm (UTC)

Also, this makes me want to pull out my Blackadder DVDs...
Aug. 8th, 2011 07:13 am (UTC)
Angelus/The Kurgan [Highlander]: After some pillaging, the boys discuss and demonstrate their mutual love for nuns, leather pants, and damage inflicted on the neck. (The Sheriff of Nottingham [Robin Hood] drops by for a pint and a lesson on spooning... people to death. Optional!)
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